My status

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Garden of Hope.

Scanning the dew-covered grass laid out like carpet before me, I ponder what mysteries this day will uncover. I can no longer bear to live without hearing her voice, her words or feeling her soul move mine in some type of symbiotic Gregorian accord. Dismissed as chance or folly by some I am certain, my fervor in this doesn't disappoint, but rather enhances my existence...renewing my soul.

Walking along the water's edge of the placid pond just overstepping the reach of the sod, I try to imagine myself holding her hand and feeling her heart, albeit more tangibly than just words this time, but I know for now, this is but a desire. Shunning reality again out of sight like an unwelcome guest to this glorious celebration, I choose to allow my mind to relapse to more meaningful memories. After all, it is all I have left in this at this juncture. Memories, sacred memories that are as lucid today as when they were imprinted nineteen years ago... Just like my love for this moment, they have proudly withstood the abuse of time with an uncommon ease.

How did I stand to go for nearly two decades without a muttering, a sign nor a single word of this perpetration on my soul, but now, I long each day for one of those simple gifts. As routine as looking for the sun at dawn, I seek out her soul. Like a hummingbird who has finally discovered a colorful new patch of Verbena hidden in the desolate landscape, I return each day for my renewal and my spiritual feeding. I also long to continue planting the flowers as much as I enjoy taking from their harvest. For it is when we give, we are so truly blessed in our offerings.

For now, I will continue to believe in the sanctity of this moment, this adventure that validates the very sinew of my soul. The essence of love itself and its eternal opportunistic gift. I know not what tomorrow holds, nor if these flowers will ever cease their consistent bloom, but I know I will keep returning....longing for their embrace, their nourishment, their presence in my life. Likewise, I will keep planting, keep believing that this garden of unconditional love, support and solace will lead to a future rich in promises for what lies ahead.....

As I turn away, I pause to allow the sharp wind to glide across my face...I never want to leave, however I am not certain of my place. Looking down and across the fields extending from this garden, I see heavily worn trails and various footprints... I now realize that neither one of us ever truly left this place....we only arrived at different times without speaking.

I smiled...
Until we meet again, I will continue to carry your smile on my soul.
Faith and Smiles always.