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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Post # 100 --- Time for a Change


Ahhh, the timepiece has escaped! What would we do if we had no sense of future time? Just here, today and the immediate present?

I guess I assumed that back in 2006, it wouldn't have taken me nearly 4 years to reach entry #100 on my blog. With such limited fanfare and no major book signings in the works, I guess some might call this a failure. :)
Alas, I am proud of this personal reflection page. It offers me a chance to gaze back upon some of my more captivating moments over the last few years and try to collect a little balance and wisdom. If nothing else, hey at least I took the time to collect & write about my thoughts 100 times!!! :D

In all seriousness, I am consistently torn with the way that my life is unfolding. At times, I feel united with the path & the calming sense of true spiritually that it brings. At other moments, I feel alone & afraid of what lies ahead, not knowing if I had done enough with my life to justify calling it worthy. Have I truly lived, or will I just die, William Wallace?

All I know is that life keeps moving you forward, like a never-ending, always methodical conveyor belt, it slowly pushes us all along. Where we choose to look, pause briefly, or simply shift paths is entirely up to us. I am not sure why I have been enamored with timepieces and their restoration lately. I think it brings me back to a historical era where time was simply valued and nothing came easy nor without dedicated & focused hard work.

Perhaps, by allowing the blessings of the past & their lessons guide me, I can learn more about myself. I will continue to post, to share my random, illogical & simply personal expressions, if nothing help me sort through the drama of the day, the pursuits of folly & to enrich my soul.

Thanks for being a part of this strange journey.

Friday, December 25, 2009

The Value of Time

Elgin 1872 - Nikon D2Xs - 50mm f/1.2 

As we gathered around the tree and delegated our Christmas gifts this year, there was one gift of mine that stood out.
Another hobby of mine has been the study of horology or watchmaking. It is a seemingly simple yet surprising delicate art that echos us back to more historical times when the value of time was appreciated. This year as a gift I received and repaired a 1872 Elgin pocketwatch. Pocket watches are my favorite since they are much larger and easier to work on than a standard wristwatch and offer a more enhanced dramatic flair, at least in my apprentice opinion!

There is something warm, moving and actually palpable about a pocketwatch that moves me...that tick, tick, tick, metallic in sound, but perfect in beat, mirroring a delicate heartbeat of history. Every wind brings me back to wonders of the events that might have been portrayed in the 1870s as this watch was carried and appreciated by souls unknown.

Alas, the gift opening continues until the unremarkable and finally realization that all of the gifts have been opened. No more surprises this year, a silent tally in your head of your presents, a last covert scan around the tree, a gentle glance to read the last tag for the lonely gift for a guest not present, shucks! yes, it is truly the end.

All of the childish grumbling ends and you realize quickly, The gifts are gone!

All in good fun, we tread forward as adults, as parents to get the responsible trash bag together, gather up the discarded and torn wrapping paper, bows & holiday-colored ribbon. We stuff in all inside, stack up all of the gifts in neat sorted piles and then move onward towards the rest of our Christmas day.

I hope to learn more about keeping time with my life this year. Making time for others, giving time to those in need and appreciating all of the time that I might have left.

It is your time --- so make it count.
Happy Holidays,
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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Night!


Oh glorious night. Lets us all give thanks. Behold Jesus is born this day.
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Merry Christmas


Amazingly another year has passed. Last year, Christmas was spent in a rustic cabin in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
This year, my kids are down to visit and the days for childhood wonder is fading, albeit slowly enough not to be sorrowful, at least not today. I cannot believe that time continues to march forward without any real concern nor
appreciation for itself, it simply is. Time cannot be influenced by mankind, it simply gives us a beginning and an end. What we make of it, lies somewhere in between I would imagine. ;)

I certainly have not achieved all of my idealistical goals for 2009, but sometimes just surviving another year and holding fast to the blessings of each day is enough. I do feel marginially wiser and stronger.

I learned a lot about Andy in 2009. I learned a lot about what makes me tick and honestly I feel better than I have in years. My desire, my need to continue to appreciate the beautiful experiences that life has to teach each day has certainly enchanted my soul in a new light for 2010.

I wish you all a blessed Christmas and 2010.
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Sunday, December 6, 2009

New Orleans Saints 12-0!!!!! WOW!


It is officially an amazing season. The greatest comeback game ever for the Saints! 33-30 in OT! 12 N.O. --- HO HO HO!
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Link to the 12&0 loyal commercial video!!!

Friday, December 4, 2009

My favorite passage....

If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.

This has been my favorite passage for nearly my entire life.
I believe it simply encompasses some of the more trying aspects of my own maturity.
To be consistently judged, compared, ridiculed & scared into a false identity of who you are, definitely changes someone. To have to weigh & value your own self-worth on the illogical if not psychopathic whims of a parent is quite painful.

To continually have the fortitude to search out the truth about your own shrouded spiritual identity, your own life journey is certainly refreshing, if not painfully exhausting at times. I found myself losing sight of the importance of this many times in the past. I found myself choosing not to believe in the magic of the moment, the belief that my life had abandoned its certain course & the stark realization that I was truly alone...going through the robotic motions, completing the steps of the expected ritual dance.

Many times in my life I have faced these same crossroads, sometimes prepared to dance with the devil & sometimes just afraid to look ahead, wishing somehow that this painful trip into analyzing my very soul would be my last. If you don't have a gift you cannot miss it, if you don't know how strong your body, spirit & passion can be, you don't judge yourself for not being yourself. If you don't take the time to look deeply into life & relish in the spiritual gifts of each moment & savor the magic then you don't remember how peaceful that feels.

By feeling & knowing all of this, you are held spiritually to a higher standard, at least onto yourself. You can no longer look down at that dusty fiddle and convince yourself that you never could play, that you were never in a better place.

To be content in the present, to see all things for what they are & to embrace the fabric of your own live each day, not perfectly nor idealistically, but with an open mind & open soul, ready to receive your own spiritual daily bread, is a great step forward. It is a gift back to yourself, the new set of footprints on your path...a chance to finally chose to live in the magic of each moment, the peace of the present.

There is nothing lacking...