Tired ---- Overvaluing work?

Sitting here, I am still growing tired of the everyday stress, expectations and unyielding demands of my work. I try to maintain the presence of my jovial & passionate spirit, but slowly...quietly...I am losing my grasp on the reality of my sanity & the corporate executive metrics that measure my personal worth.

Spending more time at work than anywhere else, it does impact you....it must impact you to some degree. Feeling overworked and undervalued has become common-place and accepted, but I guess I have always strived to break that mold by always striving and acheiving more than expected, even in spite of the expectations.

That bar that has been so feverishly raised over the last several years is now honing itself to become my nemesis of destruction, my razor-sharp measuring stick...the essence of my professional value. I am better than what I have allowed myself to become, better than what I have been judged and given more of myself than most all for the altruistic team goal of progress & success.

I assume over time when you are criticized, critiqued, judged, undervalued and essentially just unappreciated, it gets to you every once in a while. It is part of working for a corporation and really caring passionately about who you are and what you do. It still stings for a while, but I guess it is just the Queen bee reminding you that even as bright and educated as you think you are, you are still just another worker bee..... in their hive, so get back to work. :)

I strive each day to do the right thing, to care about what I do and how my actions contribute to the overall team success. I have given up and lost more than most in their lives simply by always overvaluing work...been through bad marriages, 2 children, multiple homes, jobs, numerous relationships and many other events that I simply had to lose somewhere along the way. I should blame myself for caring too much, but I cannot stop who I am...

I am not unique in this, but some people really leave their lives at work when they leave. I don't know who they are, but I need to find a way to balance my life and not lose sight that this is just a job, just a method of trading my time for money, a way to contribute passionately to the success of someone else's business and bottom line.

I am not complaining, rather I am eternally thankful for my position within this great company --- I just need more balance. I need to accept the role that I perform and not attach my own personal self-value to the impressions, nor approvals of my superiors.

I am still maturing in this, but life is more than work...more than what people may do, say or think about you............so, keep buzzing around & keep smiling. :D

:)

Angry Progress....

Looking back at recent moments, I believe that a change has been in order.
Sometimes, you have to get angry or at least focused with great fortitude and passion in order to make significant progress. Meditation, reflection, Zen quotes & happy thoughts might make you satiated for the moment, but it doesn't work all of the time. Sometimes you need a hardcore, bold change in order to free yourself from doldrums of the grind wheel. Sometimes you just need to push yourself, recapture your toughness and just get out there and DO SOMETHING.

Got back in the gym lately and feel much better. Been more direct with people without apology nor reservation. Take out your aggressions while you are still young enough to not regret your mistakes, your indecisiveness & your plans for the future.

It is sometimes hard in this weak & overly catered society, but you have to find ways to just be yourself and never lose sight of your inner spirit & strength.

Cheers

Eden Falls - Arkansas 2009

 

Eden Falls (Lost Valley - Ponca, AR) 6/16/09

Today we hiked up to Eden Falls and Cave area near Ponca, AR inside of Lost Valley National Park.
Really nice day, paths were wet after rains this morning, but that left plenty of water in the falls
to make our hike worthwhile! Beautiful place.

Dogs --- The moment

As our border collie, Sonoma jumps around the rustic Ozark cabin it makes me realize something rather interesting...life is all about what you make of each moment. This dog just rode over 800 miles staying in 2 different hotels along the way, then arrived at a isolated cabin high in the Ozarks and immediately adapted to each and every phase along the way, without question, complaint nor concern. Dogs are just simple like that --- happily following their human family and pack wherever the winds of change or the fields of fun may lead.

How many people do you know would just hop into a truck & ride aimlessly for 2 days without once knowing or asking about where they were headed, what the weather might be like, what activities would they do upon arrival nor when if ever they would be returning back home...

But, I guess home is where your family is.....not a particular city nor street, but just a boulevard of unconditional love & partnership. It must be part of the amazing loyalty, dedication and adoration that dogs have for their family, a true sense of "I would follow you to the ends of the Earth" friendship.

If only we could all learn the simple lessons of living & loving in the moment, this whole world would benefit. :)

Smiles,
Andy

At the lake......

 

Went down to the lake again today inside of my favorite park, Fontainebleau State Park in Mandeville, LA.
I visit this park at least twice a week due to its wide-open splendor, mixture of nature trails, beach area,
mature live oak landscapes, geocaching and camping. There is nothing like the simple goodness of nature.
(Especially during a long 3-day weekend....)

:D

Time after Time.....

Live Oak Landscape 5/18/08 Mandeville, LA


Another 24480 minutes of my life has elapsed since my last blog update (17 days) ---
:)

I have been feeling well and preparing for my daughter's summer break and the visit of my son in the next 3 weeks. We are heading for a trip to Arkansas in mid-June to just take a break and experience a different pace for a week. It will be a celebration of sorts, an after party for my kids and their school year & just a time to realize how important time away from the office is for me. :)

My daughter made the A-honor roll & National Jr. Honor Society for this year. She also made the broadcast/television team at school for next year, (1 of 10 people out of over 250 applicants), and I truly believe that broadcast journalism is something that she would excel for her career. She is smart, beautiful and mostly importantly enjoys to write and "be on camera" --- so what do you know, she may end up on National Geographic's Wild Kingdom (which currently could be filmed in her bedroom) --- :D

I am proud of my children. I still cannot believe that I am getting older each year and not sure how much wiser I am becoming. It is a interesting cycle of life to become older, but until something better comes along, it is where I am right now. ;)
Not much else going in my life to report of any significance, good or bad --- so I presume that is a good thing overall. :D

I am thankful, I am happy & Life is good.

Coming home to roost!

 

The two Canada Geese from the shots taken and posted in my 5/08 blog are back, this time with 2 goslings in tow.
The circle of life, the beauty of nature...the comfort of home. Long live the goose! LOL.... :)