Staying up with yourself...

Last night, I sat awake pondering about the current state of my life in general, strangely not looking in the unforgiving past, nor worried at all about the future that the morning sunrise would most certainly bring...just thinking about then - the absolute present. Oddly enough, I felt a sense of calm --- a sense of fleeting peace.
I have never said this, but I never had a strong belief in my soul that I would live until old age, even though my ancestry's genetics might disagree. :) I am not sure if this is divine knowledge, pessimism or just foolishness, but I always had a strange belief that I would die at at earlier age than most. Morbid negativity or something more, governor?

In any case, the time was good to reflect and figure out what in the heck I was doing and where I need to pilot this wayward ship. What would I do if I didn't have to work? I would travel around the world taking pictures and taking in all of the adventure that I possible could in one lifetime. Does this mean I should quit and follow my passion? Isn't that what everyone always says about following your dreams and doing what you would do if you didn't need the money?

Perhaps I think too much....perhaps I just need to be content.
Ironically today as I drove the laborous drive in across the longest bridge in the world (Causeway) --- I saw a small sticker on a Mazda that read, "Live in the Present" ---

Funny, huh?
Cheers.

Changes...Daughter moves back home.

Well, my 12 year old daughter (Katey) decided to move back home here recently, and it has been an adventure. In my heart, I felt it was a good thing for her and would provide us a chance to reconnect, bind and provide her a new start. I got her registered for school last week and she got into Honors (4 Honors courses) - I am proud of her capabilities and adaptability. She is an amazing child, and I think she will really florish in this environment. The biggest battle is deciding if she is going to bring her lunch or not, not much else. I will now have to jump back into parenting mode full-time and that will be interesting to adjust to ---

Outside of that and the overall expenses of late, life is good.
I need to get all of my pics formatted for my website and a few other things, but
the Saints are starting up soon and I am still alive and kickin' --- so things could be worse!

Will try to update more frequently than once every 2 months.
-Andy

Gooseland

 

Good Goose Morning!

 

Canadian Goose - taken w/Nikkor 500mm f/4 on D2X

What a nice memorial day welcoming. Was visted by 6 beautiful Canadian Geese this morning in the pond.
They were not afraid and didn't move as I brought out the "big guns" to snap out some pictures.
Took about 20 shots in all before remembering that I had the D2x metered down and also the mode set to A-Priority
with out concern for the aperture... :P --- Wonderful, huh?

In any case love the lens and the cam setup. It is fast, sharp and what a way to welcome in the day!

Good Kooky Loo Goosy Goo morning to you!

:P

Memorial Day Weekend --- Fun.....

Well, I got the mahogany redwood floors done including the new threshold that I had to strip, sand and restain (multiple times --- don't ask....how do I know how much urethane glue can adhere to everything when you don't want it to?) ---- :P

Got some new plants put in and life is good. Now, I have rejoined a gym for the first time since leaving Hammond, and I felt good today. Had a good 45 minute workout, felt strong especially considering the time apart from the gym, but I stay busy and active in general. I know it will be good for me, good for my health --- good for my mind. I cannot her from my mind even after all this time and I don't understand why. I just know we never got a real chance, and I let you down as a friend, but it is just in my mind --- she has long been gone away from these parts. Best to you, "M" --- wherever this message finds you.

Smiles, I am off to the beach tomorrow --- drop-top day I hope. Gonna try to catch the sunrise at the lakefront with my dog. Good intentions...alot of my past was built on those, not the best thing --- but I should actually make it.

Cheers.

Photos ----

Just a few random shots of photos I took recently. Click on photo for larger image.
Enjoy.

 

My first moonshoot taken last night (5/18/08) with 500mm Nikkor f/4 with 2xTC on D2X (Wimberly Sidekick)

 

Sonoma - 6 month old Border Collie. (D2x on 120-300 f/2.8 Sigma)

 

My daughter diving in the retention pond. (Fuji S2 with 18-70 Nikon)

 

Wild Louisiana Iris growing National Refuge - D2X on 10-20mm Sigma

Carpe Momento

SEIZE WHAT?

I recently saw one of those faux antique signs in a small Venician-wanna be strip mall coffeehouse in Mandeville painted "Carpe Diem" --- I thought to myself that is a overused cliche' with little to no meaning these days. Seize the day? I am lucky if I get home in enough time to seize an minute. That is a fine message for utopians and those with unlimited time and zero responsibilities. In the average day, most people are so consumed with what they have to do to survive, to work, to live, to handle their kids, to just get things done...seize it? You are lucky if you can survive it --- most days.

So, I thought...seize the moment would be more appropriate. Moments are what classify and define the borders between the areas of active thought and presence and simply existing. The chances to reach out, to say the right thing, to trust in your heart, to apologize, to really empathize, to express yourself...those are moments, those are opportunities...capture the essence of that, the essence of who you truly are inside.

CARPE MOMENTO

It has been nearly 2 months since my last post. Sicne then I have had my kids visit and I had surgery last week 4/22/08 which has not been fun at all, but it is all part of living and making each moment count. Now, I am a little more focused, a little less jaded and just a little calmer all around. Life is strange, unforgiving at times, mysterious at times...but in all, just a ride that you have to truly live to appreciate. Watching my parents get older and more feeble is depressing at times, but understandably part of the circle of life...the circle of moments.

I miss the moments that I see in my past at times, not fully understanding why.
It seems that I am still not able to move completely forward, to let go of those
who once stood there --- those moments just keep replaying in my mind. Perhaps it is just a cruel reality of life that we cannot choose our moments nor control which moments decide to stay in our hearts and minds --- which moments attempt to remind us of where we have been and how it felt to live.

Here's to better moments...