Be anxious for nothing...

And Paul said, "Be anxious for nothing....", an unassuming but powerful message, or perhaps latent order for us to live peacefully. As I try to absorb the intention of his four simple words, I pause in disbelief of my current journey....a stark and defining contrast to the multitude of prior years, moments and minutes that were shared in union, a permanence of souls somehow now departed...like a ghost in the breeze before my steps...

Time for a walk...a journey through the wilderness, striving with each step as much to find myself, as to lose myself, with the One that created all of my madness to begin with... 

In my humbled state, I stumble upon an abandoned shelter, seemingly emptied of its contents, warmth and purpose, exposed to the moon light, the darkness... and the sun in equal and absolute measure. The wooden door slightly ajar, I step forward in mild wonderment...

Only a cold anvil sits alone in the center of the room, some archaic metallic tools lay nearby...
A dim light from a nearly extinguished and weary torch draws its own conclusions as to the presence of my steps herein... Alas, there is still light, I whisper nervously to myself, looking down I counter this positive thought with my truest belief as if I was ever meant for much more than failure or loss...or to be alone in this lifetime... I shrug both moments off my frame and reach for its cold dark surface.... the anvil resonates with my soul, its dense purposeful anchoring provides me reassured strength in these moments...

I unsheathe my mind from its weighted and worn scabbard....and pray in silence.
Thoughts flutter through the air surrounding my breath...I see her face and a tear masks my sight.

As I scour back through the tangled entrapment of thoughts, memories, and final moments in her presence, I am left wanting...

Left trying to understand why again I am lost and alone, why again I am away from the only love, the only heart, the only soul that has ever moved or known me completely...

I can only surmise that it is time for me to pickup the tools and sharpen my iron...
To release the lies, the deceit, the fear, the nervousness, the anger and the pain....
To be more in this lifetime that I have allowed myself to become...
To rely on His path as my own, to find the elusive way of peace so that I can truly love others...

To quiet the belief that I need to please, that I need to be anxious, that I need to worry, to wonder, to live in fear of loss and despair....that anything is ever lacking.

As I open my eyes to the reality of my loneliness, I feel her spirit in my heart.
I smile inwardly as the final words of my prayer roll from my lips...

Be anxious for nothing.....

Be ready for anything.
Be grateful for everything.
Be humble before God...

Just be.