My status

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Holding on...

Observing the sunrise through the scratched plexiglass cover encasing the window serving 7A on my flight, I feel alone. The sun peeks forward in its predictable timely fashion, too routine and ordinary to deem worthy of anything more than a brief respite and assurance that this day will go on with or without my approval. I glide sheepishly into the worn, leather adorned chair, fashioned no longer to impress its world travelers, but just to stand up to the abuse of the masses who must coax their tired, fattened frames into its rigid embrace hundreds of times a week. Like a stained, damp mattress at an hourly hotel, it is up to the repetitive job if rudimentary function is your pleasure. And pleasure is the essence of what you seek here, is it not?

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Say Something

As I peer back through the layers of memories, moments and madness that has encircled the steps of my life over the last 3 years, I pause. The soft music plays gently behind me and immediately it captivates me, hynoptically and without remorse. The words echo, "Say Something..... I am giving up on you....I am sorry I couldn't get to you." I hear different voices signing the same lyric, all now departed ---- lost in time. My mind races in reverse, in pure technicolor magic. I see myself, my dreams, love and life scattered across a field of uncut grass and a maniacally displaced harvest. I cannot connect myself to the steps once taken, the path once so obviously carved, the stones that I crossed to reach where I stand today. Like a waterfall that no longer flows with life, I remain in silence, love removed from the source, no longer foolishly fed by those afraid of the rapids that my journey offers. I pan slowly back to the present, silence the melodic dogma and accept the moment of realization that my choices were not in vain, and I never requested their presence nor their approval of my worthiness. If they gave up on me because I could no longer enrich their lives with a smile, neither a promise of eternal security in this lifetime then I pity their discord and their shallowness.

I smile softly. For the first time in years, I bask in the wonderment of what the future and my choices hold.

Say Something. I will not give up on me...